C L Walker
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Writing Advice: How I Edit Stuff

12/8/2016

 
I had someone ask me what my editing process is like a little while ago. My response was something along the lines of "um...well...you see...read it aloud, I guess?"

So here is my actual, no bullshit, totally serious editing process. Following this is the only way to do this, and anyone who tells you different is a lying liar.

First, fly to Bali.

You might think you can skip this bit because you are very far away from Bali and there is an island nation closer to home that fits the profile pretty well.

You would be wrong. I wouldn't have said fly to Bali if I meant fly to some other Bali-esque place. This is why the number of wanna-be writers in Bali far outnumbers the local population. Facts would lead you to believe that this statement is false, but facts have mislead us to believe the Earth is round. So screw facts.

You need to pic the right spot in Bali for your editing. It's a beautiful place and there are lots of options, but as any writer will tell you there are a few criteria that are absolutely essential to proper editing. You need an ancient structure of some kind. There should be crashing waves but also poolside service. I'm sure you know the list.

Here is where I ended up while editing First Target:

Picture
Make sure you're comfortable and well rested. Get a drink from the bar. Get another one, because editing is hard and annoying and you need to take the edge off before attempting it. Hemingway would agree (editor's note: No he wouldn't).

You'll sleep for a bit before you get to the actual work, and that's fine. It lets your creativity run around for a while. When you add alcohol to that it is a safe bet that when you start attacking your beautiful prose you can be sure that greatness will result.

You'll wake up in the late afternoon (if you're doing it right), just in time for a meal. Go have that meal, safe in the knowledge that you've laid all the groundwork for great editing. You can do the rest tomorrow.

Or the next day, if necessary, as there are loads of cool things to see in Bali. Like this ray:

Picture
Or the release of this baby turtle:
Picture
Or this other, unrelated temple:
Picture
You'll be feeling really creative when you get back. You're here to edit, but you should allow yourself to write new stuff for a while instead. Editing can always wait but when the muse strikes you need run with it.

It'll take you 90% of your holiday to deal with the muse and all the holiday stuff, leaving you a glorious few hours to get your editing done near the end. You know, however, that you've got a long flight back. This means you can put aside the editing if you need to and enjoy the last scrap of holiday. There's nothing wrong with this decision, and it can only lend your editing more power.

You'll discover that it's really difficult to edit on a plane. Luckily you'll be refreshed when you get home, so you deal with it then.

When you get home, hire someone to do your editing for you. It's what Hemingway would have done (editor: Still no).

Have a good weekend

Long Time No See

9/8/2016

 
Long time no see.

I haven't had much to say here lately. Life has been busy and I have been lazy. Let's see if we can fix that.

I went to see the new Star Trek recently and I really liked it. It had a very Star Trek feel to it (unlike the first two). It was big and looked like a video game most of the time, but it was fun and kept me engaged to the end.

I fell asleep during Into Darkness, so I missed the end of it. I don't think I missed much. I go back and rewatch films all the time and I still haven't bothered doing that with Into Darkness, even though I haven't seen some of it. But with Beyond I'm looking forward to seeing it again.

People talk shit about the first two new Star Trek films all the time (myself included), but they did something really important: they made Star Trek cool.

Let me tell you a story

I had settled into my seat and was watching the previews. I was cautiously optimistic that I was about to be entertained for 2 hours, and that I probably wouldn't pass out again.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a chattering, giggling group of teenage girls appeared, like a plague descending on the theater. The skipped happily toward me and took their seats directly behind me. I am an old man (and have been since birth), so I got a sinking feeling at the thought of having them talk through the movie because it wasn't what they were interested in and they shouldn't have been there.

God, I'm such an asshole.

They loved it! I wanted to join in when they spoke over the movie (I didn't, of course, because they are teenage girls and I don't want to be arrested). They spotted all the cool easter eggs and were excited at all the right moments. They were engaged to the end and even made a comment about how little lens-flare there was.

It's possible that these girls have always been into Star Trek because they were raised on it or something. But I think it's more probable that the lens flare-heavy, dumb reference making, boring action-fest first two films made them interested. They then went and became Fans, enough that they got a bunch of obscure references my wife didn't get, and she grew up watching the TV shows.

Now we're getting a Star Trek film that's a little closer to what I think of as the Trek feel, and the new fans are coming along for the ride and enjoying it. We're getting a new TV show and they'll watch the hell out of that too.

We're getting a million new Star Wars films over the next few years, but they were always going to be huge. Knowing that Star Trek still has a place on the field after fifty years makes me happy.

Of course it's looking like the movie is going to be certified as a bomb, so what do I know?


    C.L. Walker

    Author. Nerd. Long-Haired Slacker

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